The Audible-Ready Sales Podcast
The Audible-Ready Sales Podcast

Episode · 1 month ago

Funniest Sales Stories


A montage of the funniest sales stories covered during our Lessons Learned in Sales series. Catch up on these highlights that you might have missed and share your funny stories with by leaving us a comment or tagging us on LinkedIn: The Audible-Ready Sales Podcast.

Here are the full episodes featuring the stories we shared 

Check out this and other episodes of The Audible-Ready Podcast at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or our website.

Can we come back and bout themnow, because our office was right down the street? He says sure,he looks at because you're in trouble. She Says No, no, no, no. You are listening to the audible ready podcast, the show thathelps you and your team's sell more faster. Will feat your sales leader sharing theirbest insights on how to create a sales engine that helps you fuel repeatablerevenue growth, presented by the team at force management, a leader in BTBsales effectiveness. Let's get started. Hello and welcome to the audible ready salespodcast. I'm Rachel Clap Miller, today taking you back to the archives fromour interviews with people as part of our lessons learned series. If you've listenedto any of this episodes, you'll know that John Kaplin talks to some ofour sales leaders and asks them five questions, one of which is the funniest thingthat has ever happened to them on a sales call. So today we'regiving you a montage of those stories and we start with our own Patrick McLoughlin, Patty Mac, who went to a sales call with a guy who couldn'tsee. I've really been looking forward to this question. What's the funniest thingthat's happened on a sales call? I was probably my third year sales.I had first two years. First year I got made plans. Second yearI make Presidents Club things. You're going really good. Third Year I'm justclicking. I'm like I got this, I got this down, and Igot involved in a pretty large, high volume of mid volume opportunity with apublishing company outside of Washington DC. And you know, back in the dayat Sierrox we had sales specialist that handled certain product lines that would support uson those sales calls and those opportunities. They were experts in the competition,in the marketplace, the functions, features and productivity and devices we were selling. So his name was art Chris Foli, because I'm going to make art listento this podcast. So art says, Hey, I'll just meet you inMaryland at the account. I said, okay, Great. So we showup with the account and we're doing...

...our precall plan in the parking lotand he says show me the proposal. We get to the product, weget to the pricing and the benefits page for the business outcomes we were sellingand he's looking for his glasses. He can't find his glasses, so hesays, let me see it goes. I can't read this, and he'slike, listen, you got to do it just when you get to thesethings. You got to hammer home the required capability, business outcome. Youknow, this is a competitive account. You got to just drive this thinghome. Now this is a twenty plus year a veteran that had eighty percentof his career was presidents club, and I'm like, all right, Igot it, I got it and likes to we practice it. He saidpractice it, practice it. So we're practice in it and we doing inthe call and we're in a room that's probably only big enough for two people. We have three people at a round table and I get to the businessoutcomes page and I start doing exactly like I did in the parking lot,and art doesn't like a thing that I'm doing. So you know what hedoes? He reaches over and he grabs my glasses off my face and hestarts reading the it was. Now here's the worst part about it, JohnI only we only have glasses on because I need a rout by age forreading and seeing the screen. But at the time. I was near sighted. Me, I can't see far well, art was fort sighted. He couldn'tsee near so the classes were a complete mess up. So our isnow aggravated to the point that he's going to explode. And you know whathe does? He reaches across the table and he knows the glasses off.The customers day. But I'm like, I can't believe he didn't even askpermission. And he said these don't work either. Right. So the client, you know that. The customer says. The customer says, fine, giveme the proposal, customer goes, I'll read the line and you tellme what people want to tell me. Oh Good Lord to give me theoutcome. Give me the outcome. Yeah, now here's the idea of it.We win that deal. We did win that deal. It is deadand the glasses were going around the table. He stopped. I couldn't stop laughing. That is awesome. That is...

...awesome. So, art, ifyou're listening, let us know what if you did lay six or what happenedafter that. If we do hear an update on art on whether he hadthat Lasik or whatever, will be sure to let you know. Love thisnext one from Antonella Day, she sent her coworker to the bathroom and whatclose the deal? I was actually the manager at the time and one ofmy sellers was really struggling with an account that had been in the pipeline waytoo long. With was convinced it was so it was coming, was goingcoming in and he said, I just need you to go in there andtalk to them and see if, you know, I'm completely wrong in termsof the direction this is going. So I remember arriving at the account andmy my rep saying, you know, do mine if I use your restroom, and so he went off to the restroom. I'm sitting, you know, with the owner of the business at the time and he and I'm prettyno nonsense. I'm very straightforward, I'm very candid. I'm not here tolike fluff anything up. I out of Very New York, you know,mentality in terms of my throat and my my rep was gone for I thinkeight minutes and in that eight minutes I remember sitting down with a client andbasically saying, listen, this is basically what you've told us. You'd wantto get out of this whole entire program this is like the proof of wherewe've done it similar type of companies. This is, you know, whatwe delivered for them and you know, you either need to make a decisionright now. This is something going to you're going to move forward with withand if not, we're leaving, like you're not going to hear from usagain. And by the time I rep came out of the bathroom, paperworkwas signed. I was packing up my back word. Oh Yeah, andif let me go and I'm like we're done, we're done, you know, and the customers like thank you be thanks so much for pushing me onthis. I would just kind of like not a hundred percent sure, Ifeel good about this now. And we were out and got Gilda eight minutesnow. What was the story when you got back to the branch? Ohmy gosh, he is like you had... sear. I went to thebath row and there for literally sixty and one from eight minutes, like sixtyseconds out there, literally for sixty seconds. I came up, the paperwork wasdone. You got to take her on calls with you? Yeah,I give it's just it was very funny. Oh Man, I take Antonella,oh Danna sales call with me any day. Next up Tim Cato.He takes us to the oil fields of Kansas for this one. So Igot to get just a pinch of set up on this one. This wasknown in my company at the time as the to oil wells to finance guysthree pair of shoes and a set of clean socks. Story. That probablywhat's going on. So again, way back early on, earlier in mysales career, I'm in Kansas. That that's my my patches is Wichita,Kansas. But I happen to have two or three the largest customers in thecompany in that little patch. And it was also the time there was basicallya recession going on and one of those large customers, my biggest, hadmade a unilateral decision he wasn't going to charge his customers for his services hisproduct during that time to help them out. But the other part of his unilateraldecision is he decided he didn't need to pay US during that time.You know, good old boy out in Valley Center Kansas, right he said, and I'm like hey, you know, there's a lot of money piling upover here that you allys and it's a recession and the company management kindof wants to get that in and I tried, you know, Mr Naive, Nice Young Guy, trying to deal with it, and he said,you know, now, do you guys think I'm not good for it?No, no, I'm sure you put for it, but you know theykind of wanted in our bank and I was suggesting as a post telling.So finally he says listen, because I said something like what's the guys infinance are all over me. Said well, get those guys in here. Letme talk to him. I don't know. So I call him upon that. I said, if we... a prayer of getting this money, it's going to involve you find a which puss of two guys show up. You know, we used to call the people are Med corters, thesuits. You know, they showed up, we all war suits. We goto this guy's place. It's kind of November, cloudy, and weget in this discussion and they're saying, but you don't understand, we're nota business like yours. We're probably trying to Buhlah, Blah Blah. Andhe said, let me show you something, and he takes his out to hisjeep and we get in it. Now he had a lot of propertyin this big complex and he drives us out to this remote part of hispride, like a mile out in this field right. Well, what hehad discovered a few months before that, John, is there were a coupleold oil wills out there. Oh Wow, being camped off when, you know, price o oil went so low. He didn't even know he had them, but somehow found them and had opened them up back again because theprice oil was pretty good. You know, these things were pumping out like ahundred grand every couple weeks. For this I was it was unbelievable.So he drives us out in this money field, he takes the two suitsand me and we walk up and he like opens this big barrel right whereall the oil is popping in and he says, boys, this thing fillsup every two weeks. I sell up for a hundred thousand dollars. I'mgood for what I owe you, and I'm not even talking about the restof my business, just with this. I'm good with what I owe now. Here's the thing, right, you can ask me to pay you nowand you won't have business for me for three months, or you can bepatient for three months and I'll keep buying from you all on. And thenhe starts walking down this, you know, these stairs from this barrel and hesays, I'm going to give you some time to think about that.Jumped in his cheaping too. He left you out here. That's right.And feel it's now just started terrain and I remember these two guys looking atme and go like he's coming back right as I'm I don't I don't thinkso. I think this is what's called.

He's sending us a message. Andthere we got flight back. I got to be in meetings tomorrow.I like, guess we better start walking. So we're walking through the mud.Now it's rating. They're rolling up the you know, the bottom oftheir of their of their pants, up to, you know, over ourankles and mud. There's slogging through this thing and they are person this guy. We're gonna see. This guy is the most unprepared. Blah, blah, blah, Blah Blah. I said, yeah, all you know, Ikind of get it. I don't know all the things you guys know, but but here's what I do know. If we lose his business for threemonths, that's going to our biggest competitor. I got to feel andthey're not going to be so happy to let him go. So I don'tthink this is like a today and three months from now. So I thinkthis is a foreverything, and if you're not clear that he sees it asforever. We're walking through the mud amile back to this thing and then allof a sudden I said, but what do you think about it? Thisis going to be a great story tomorrow, and they started laughing, you know, and right around the time they're laughing and saying, yeah, maybewe ought to keep our eye on the prize whatever, here comes my manout his jeep, bur and he pulls up, but he looks out aspoint you. Doesn't say get in. He's looking out the window and he'slike Gee, sorry, you boys ruined your shoes. have yet made anydecisions like the League Guys Day? I think we can wait a little bit. I think we could be patient. He says good, get on inthis car, and so we jump in and then he says here and hehands his bag up, and Brown paper bag. It's got three pair ofdress shoes in it, you know, probably all the same size. Youknow, I'm sure they didn't have dollar stores then, but whatever the equivalentwas in Valley Center thus as, he went bought three of them and threepair of socks and he said here, you know, sorry, you guysruined your shoes, but you know, here, take these for me.And then he said, Hey, when you take care of me, Iwill always take care of you. But that is awesome, dude. Guesswhat, in about a week he paid...

...the whole thing you just said.Okay, make my point, because for him, John, we thought itwas an AAR situation. Yeah, he saw it as a trust situation.Yeah, that's quite the picture Tim painted. They're up next Brian Walsh. Hesays this to Youngstown Ohio with a burglary that helped us quote attainment.I was twenty three years old and I'm working in Youngstown Ohio and I'm callingon the mid market customers at that point right, I'm just like the newbusiness rep for the for the midmarket customers, and I had this deal. Iwas working at youngstown welding and I still remember the name of the comingback. I looked about the other day. They're still there. I had thisdeal I was working on and and they had one of our devices,but they had a whole bunch of competitive stuff, both, you know,copiers and you know some printers back then, and typewriters were big back then.You know, a M's electrics and we're trying to replace them with theZak's memory writer and stuff. And I remember is looking at this account homeboy, this would be a big account for somebody like me. I'm justtrying to replace the one zerox device to, you know, get getting the newtechnology and get up get a foothold it. And one thing led toanother and they demold one of our memory riders and they loved it. Everythingwas great. And this guy pulls me and he says, listen, we'regoing to think about doing that one copy, but the rest of that stuff wecan't afford right now. So now all of a sudden my big dealis falling apart. I go last you bundle all the price. Yeah,yeah, that's right. But yeah, that's right. And he says,and I quote, boy, it would be a shame if he made somecomment about getting burglarized. It would be a shame if we got burglarized.And you know, and I'm just passed right past me and about a weeklater, on a Monday morning I caught. I get a call the office andit's him and he says hey, you're not going to believe what happened. I said what's that? He says, we got burglarized over the weekend.All of our IBM typewriters are gone. Oh my what. And they hadsomeone had burglarized. They did take any of the tooling, you know, anything like that. They took all... sobody came in and stoleall the office scripmen. So well know. So now I'm like, AH,so now I'm up. Okay, I'm coming out. But I actuallyhave someone traveling with me today that they were doing a big blitz day andthey brought all the region people and had this woman from Chicago I had nevermet before. It was a region person, Nancy Allen. I still remember hername. And we go out and we meet with this guy that dayand I've got the pricing built in, et CETERA, etc. And andhere's the best part. So not only is this like going to be aneasy sale right because they got insurance money. I don't know what's going on.All I know what they're about to buy a bunch of stuff. Igot the proposal ready and he says he looks at it and I had introducedhim to her and he knows she's like the be one of the big regionpeople, and he says, I think we're ready to go. I saidokay, and she looks to me she is great, let's let's write theorder now. You know, back then we had order agreements. Yeah,right, right there in the spot. Yeah, I didn't have one.have an order a dream. Wait, I didn't have an order agreement.I have the sheepishly look at this guy say I don't have an order agreementand she looks at me. She you don't have an order agreement. Iknow, and she takes over. She looks and she says I probably shouldn'tmention anyone. Well, statical limitations. At this point I said Dave.She says, Dave, can we come back in about an hour, becauseour office was right down the street. He says sure. He looks atme, because you're in trouble. She Says No, no, no,no. So we're going to go back and write the orders and bring themback from the sign and on the way back to the office she says,all right, we're going to make a deal right now. I said.What's that? She said, we're not going to tell anybody ever about younot having an order agreement for that call, but you're never going to go ona call again without an order agreement in hand. And finally, let'swrap up with Comante mccrae, are chief commercial officer. He had a quitea lesson in negotiation and translation. Years Ago I was a senior seller,I was a specialist. So that may...

...not support supported other sellers. Andwe had a call on Middle Eastern Embassy. We had been negotiating with them forsome time. This particular day was for us. We had the contractsin hand to ink the deal. So we get there and the normal guythat we deal with. We having a conversation and then, in left fieldhe pulls out, well, we're looking for an additional price discount, andso we're saying, well, this is not what we discussed. We've alreadytalked about everything. The solution is baked. We talked about the budgets, wetalked about the price. This is supposed to be for us just thinkingthe deal. So he says, well, I've got to bring in someone elseto talk about this negotiation. So he brings in this other party andthis other party he's having to translate for because this other party doesn't speak English. So we're going through the back and forth in the party that doesn't speakEnglish in his native tongue is very animated. He's banging on the table, he'sall over the place and obviously I can see that this guy is somewhatangered. And so we go back and forth through the discussion and the morejunior seller, I can see he's a little shook because this guy is reallyanimating. He's very angry, and so the person that we traditionally deal withthat could speak English, he gets up and walks out of the room andso it's just the seller, the junish seller, myself in this guy.So the juniors sellers like, what in the world is going on? Comeon ten I'm was like just just be quiet. Well, it'll be okay, it'll be okay. So when the other guy comes back in, Isaid and he says, look, you need to go back to your officeand talk to someone that really can make this deal happen and reduce our price, and I say, well, I'm not going back to the office andhave that conversation. We've already discussed that this is the right solution, thisis the right price, this is the best that you're going to get,and I'm not we're going to do this deal today. What is it that'sgoing to take us to happen so that...

...we can make this deal happen today, and what is the real issue that we're trying to solve? For?He says we're our budget changed, and he's translating back and forth and everytime I say something, says up to this guy and this guy goes allover the place. And I said, well, okay, so you're buttchange. Do we need to change the solution? Know, we want thesame solution or lesser costs. And I said, well, what is theissue with the budget? He says, well, our first year budget wehave. We have a problem. So I knew in the back pocket wecan negotiate more on things like a warranty, because they'd have to pay for thingslike maintenance over the time and if we gave them a bit of aWarty, they would have to pay. This a value to it. SoI say to him, what if we can give you the first year freemaintenance? Right, so that has a value of xts, and he talksto this guy and this guy goes off a bit more and so he saysthat might work. So I said, well, I need to make aphone call. So I walk out, I go call and I knew Ihad a little bit of that in the back pocket. I call our financepeople. They see I cannot tell you know, that's a big deal.So I go back in. I say done, let's do the deal.So they had to reprint some contracts. The guy that supposedly the guy thatcould speak English walks out and the guy that didn't speak English all of asudden says, Hey, I appreciate the business. Hey Me, you're gonnasay that. I appreciate you going the extra mile. and Johnny just comingout of Rama Don so they were having a big celebration in the office.Let's celebrate the contract. I know you've worked with this gentleman extensively, withus, and I said you could speak in the we bust out laughing thein the Junia seller. So you can speak English all the time. SaidYeah, this is just sort of a negotiation tactic to see how you wouldreact, to see who you get more out of you and to see ifyou but hey, you handle it fantastically. Let's go eat because they had beenfast. Awesome. That is awesome.

All right. I hope you enjoyedthat podcast. Little different take for you today on the audible ready salespodcast. What is your funniest story? Would love to hear them. Shootus a note on Linkedin. You can find myself on Linkedin, Rachel ClapMiller or John Kaplan. We love to hear them. Thank you for listening. At force management, we're focused on transforming sales organizations into elite teams.Are Proven methodologies deliver programs that build company alignment and fuel repeatable revenue growth.Give your teams the ability to execute the growth strategy at the point of sale. Our strength is our experience. The proof is in our results. Let'sget started. Visit US at force MANAGEMENTCOM. You've been listening to the audible readypodcast. To not miss an episode, subscribe to the show in your favoritepodcast player. Until next time,.

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