The Audible-Ready Sales Podcast
The Audible-Ready Sales Podcast

Episode · 1 year ago

Funniest Sales Stories


A montage of the funniest sales stories covered during our Lessons Learned in Sales series. Catch up on these highlights that you might have missed and share your funny stories with by leaving us a comment or tagging us on LinkedIn: The Audible-Ready Sales Podcast.

Here are the full episodes featuring the stories we shared 

Check out this and other episodes of The Audible-Ready Podcast at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or our website.

Can we come back and bout them now, because our office was right down the street? He says sure, he looks at because you're in trouble. She Says No, no, no, no. You are listening to the audible ready podcast, the show that helps you and your team's sell more faster. Will feat your sales leader sharing their best insights on how to create a sales engine that helps you fuel repeatable revenue growth, presented by the team at force management, a leader in BTB sales effectiveness. Let's get started. Hello and welcome to the audible ready sales podcast. I'm Rachel Clap Miller, today taking you back to the archives from our interviews with people as part of our lessons learned series. If you've listened to any of this episodes, you'll know that John Kaplin talks to some of our sales leaders and asks them five questions, one of which is the funniest thing that has ever happened to them on a sales call. So today we're giving you a montage of those stories and we start with our own Patrick McLoughlin, Patty Mac, who went to a sales call with a guy who couldn't see. I've really been looking forward to this question. What's the funniest thing that's happened on a sales call? I was probably my third year sales. I had first two years. First year I got made plans. Second year I make Presidents Club things. You're going really good. Third Year I'm just clicking. I'm like I got this, I got this down, and I got involved in a pretty large, high volume of mid volume opportunity with a publishing company outside of Washington DC. And you know, back in the day at Sierrox we had sales specialist that handled certain product lines that would support us on those sales calls and those opportunities. They were experts in the competition, in the marketplace, the functions, features and productivity and devices we were selling. So his name was art Chris Foli, because I'm going to make art listen to this podcast. So art says, Hey, I'll just meet you in Maryland at the account. I said, okay, Great. So we show up with the account and we're doing...

...our precall plan in the parking lot and he says show me the proposal. We get to the product, we get to the pricing and the benefits page for the business outcomes we were selling and he's looking for his glasses. He can't find his glasses, so he says, let me see it goes. I can't read this, and he's like, listen, you got to do it just when you get to these things. You got to hammer home the required capability, business outcome. You know, this is a competitive account. You got to just drive this thing home. Now this is a twenty plus year a veteran that had eighty percent of his career was presidents club, and I'm like, all right, I got it, I got it and likes to we practice it. He said practice it, practice it. So we're practice in it and we doing in the call and we're in a room that's probably only big enough for two people. We have three people at a round table and I get to the business outcomes page and I start doing exactly like I did in the parking lot, and art doesn't like a thing that I'm doing. So you know what he does? He reaches over and he grabs my glasses off my face and he starts reading the it was. Now here's the worst part about it, John I only we only have glasses on because I need a rout by age for reading and seeing the screen. But at the time. I was near sighted. Me, I can't see far well, art was fort sighted. He couldn't see near so the classes were a complete mess up. So our is now aggravated to the point that he's going to explode. And you know what he does? He reaches across the table and he knows the glasses off. The customers day. But I'm like, I can't believe he didn't even ask permission. And he said these don't work either. Right. So the client, you know that. The customer says. The customer says, fine, give me the proposal, customer goes, I'll read the line and you tell me what people want to tell me. Oh Good Lord to give me the outcome. Give me the outcome. Yeah, now here's the idea of it. We win that deal. We did win that deal. It is dead and the glasses were going around the table. He stopped. I couldn't stop laughing. That is awesome. That is...

...awesome. So, art, if you're listening, let us know what if you did lay six or what happened after that. If we do hear an update on art on whether he had that Lasik or whatever, will be sure to let you know. Love this next one from Antonella Day, she sent her coworker to the bathroom and what close the deal? I was actually the manager at the time and one of my sellers was really struggling with an account that had been in the pipeline way too long. With was convinced it was so it was coming, was going coming in and he said, I just need you to go in there and talk to them and see if, you know, I'm completely wrong in terms of the direction this is going. So I remember arriving at the account and my my rep saying, you know, do mine if I use your restroom, and so he went off to the restroom. I'm sitting, you know, with the owner of the business at the time and he and I'm pretty no nonsense. I'm very straightforward, I'm very candid. I'm not here to like fluff anything up. I out of Very New York, you know, mentality in terms of my throat and my my rep was gone for I think eight minutes and in that eight minutes I remember sitting down with a client and basically saying, listen, this is basically what you've told us. You'd want to get out of this whole entire program this is like the proof of where we've done it similar type of companies. This is, you know, what we delivered for them and you know, you either need to make a decision right now. This is something going to you're going to move forward with with and if not, we're leaving, like you're not going to hear from us again. And by the time I rep came out of the bathroom, paperwork was signed. I was packing up my back word. Oh Yeah, and if let me go and I'm like we're done, we're done, you know, and the customers like thank you be thanks so much for pushing me on this. I would just kind of like not a hundred percent sure, I feel good about this now. And we were out and got Gilda eight minutes now. What was the story when you got back to the branch? Oh my gosh, he is like you had... sear. I went to the bath row and there for literally sixty and one from eight minutes, like sixty seconds out there, literally for sixty seconds. I came up, the paperwork was done. You got to take her on calls with you? Yeah, I give it's just it was very funny. Oh Man, I take Antonella, oh Danna sales call with me any day. Next up Tim Cato. He takes us to the oil fields of Kansas for this one. So I got to get just a pinch of set up on this one. This was known in my company at the time as the to oil wells to finance guys three pair of shoes and a set of clean socks. Story. That probably what's going on. So again, way back early on, earlier in my sales career, I'm in Kansas. That that's my my patches is Wichita, Kansas. But I happen to have two or three the largest customers in the company in that little patch. And it was also the time there was basically a recession going on and one of those large customers, my biggest, had made a unilateral decision he wasn't going to charge his customers for his services his product during that time to help them out. But the other part of his unilateral decision is he decided he didn't need to pay US during that time. You know, good old boy out in Valley Center Kansas, right he said, and I'm like hey, you know, there's a lot of money piling up over here that you allys and it's a recession and the company management kind of wants to get that in and I tried, you know, Mr Naive, Nice Young Guy, trying to deal with it, and he said, you know, now, do you guys think I'm not good for it? No, no, I'm sure you put for it, but you know they kind of wanted in our bank and I was suggesting as a post telling. So finally he says listen, because I said something like what's the guys in finance are all over me. Said well, get those guys in here. Let me talk to him. I don't know. So I call him up on that. I said, if we... a prayer of getting this money, it's going to involve you find a which puss of two guys show up. You know, we used to call the people are Med corters, the suits. You know, they showed up, we all war suits. We go to this guy's place. It's kind of November, cloudy, and we get in this discussion and they're saying, but you don't understand, we're not a business like yours. We're probably trying to Buhlah, Blah Blah. And he said, let me show you something, and he takes his out to his jeep and we get in it. Now he had a lot of property in this big complex and he drives us out to this remote part of his pride, like a mile out in this field right. Well, what he had discovered a few months before that, John, is there were a couple old oil wills out there. Oh Wow, being camped off when, you know, price o oil went so low. He didn't even know he had them, but somehow found them and had opened them up back again because the price oil was pretty good. You know, these things were pumping out like a hundred grand every couple weeks. For this I was it was unbelievable. So he drives us out in this money field, he takes the two suits and me and we walk up and he like opens this big barrel right where all the oil is popping in and he says, boys, this thing fills up every two weeks. I sell up for a hundred thousand dollars. I'm good for what I owe you, and I'm not even talking about the rest of my business, just with this. I'm good with what I owe now. Here's the thing, right, you can ask me to pay you now and you won't have business for me for three months, or you can be patient for three months and I'll keep buying from you all on. And then he starts walking down this, you know, these stairs from this barrel and he says, I'm going to give you some time to think about that. Jumped in his cheaping too. He left you out here. That's right. And feel it's now just started terrain and I remember these two guys looking at me and go like he's coming back right as I'm I don't I don't think so. I think this is what's called.

He's sending us a message. And there we got flight back. I got to be in meetings tomorrow. I like, guess we better start walking. So we're walking through the mud. Now it's rating. They're rolling up the you know, the bottom of their of their of their pants, up to, you know, over our ankles and mud. There's slogging through this thing and they are person this guy. We're gonna see. This guy is the most unprepared. Blah, blah, blah, Blah Blah. I said, yeah, all you know, I kind of get it. I don't know all the things you guys know, but but here's what I do know. If we lose his business for three months, that's going to our biggest competitor. I got to feel and they're not going to be so happy to let him go. So I don't think this is like a today and three months from now. So I think this is a foreverything, and if you're not clear that he sees it as forever. We're walking through the mud amile back to this thing and then all of a sudden I said, but what do you think about it? This is going to be a great story tomorrow, and they started laughing, you know, and right around the time they're laughing and saying, yeah, maybe we ought to keep our eye on the prize whatever, here comes my man out his jeep, bur and he pulls up, but he looks out as point you. Doesn't say get in. He's looking out the window and he's like Gee, sorry, you boys ruined your shoes. have yet made any decisions like the League Guys Day? I think we can wait a little bit. I think we could be patient. He says good, get on in this car, and so we jump in and then he says here and he hands his bag up, and Brown paper bag. It's got three pair of dress shoes in it, you know, probably all the same size. You know, I'm sure they didn't have dollar stores then, but whatever the equivalent was in Valley Center thus as, he went bought three of them and three pair of socks and he said here, you know, sorry, you guys ruined your shoes, but you know, here, take these for me. And then he said, Hey, when you take care of me, I will always take care of you. But that is awesome, dude. Guess what, in about a week he paid...

...the whole thing you just said. Okay, make my point, because for him, John, we thought it was an AAR situation. Yeah, he saw it as a trust situation. Yeah, that's quite the picture Tim painted. They're up next Brian Walsh. He says this to Youngstown Ohio with a burglary that helped us quote attainment. I was twenty three years old and I'm working in Youngstown Ohio and I'm calling on the mid market customers at that point right, I'm just like the new business rep for the for the midmarket customers, and I had this deal. I was working at youngstown welding and I still remember the name of the coming back. I looked about the other day. They're still there. I had this deal I was working on and and they had one of our devices, but they had a whole bunch of competitive stuff, both, you know, copiers and you know some printers back then, and typewriters were big back then. You know, a M's electrics and we're trying to replace them with the Zak's memory writer and stuff. And I remember is looking at this account home boy, this would be a big account for somebody like me. I'm just trying to replace the one zerox device to, you know, get getting the new technology and get up get a foothold it. And one thing led to another and they demold one of our memory riders and they loved it. Everything was great. And this guy pulls me and he says, listen, we're going to think about doing that one copy, but the rest of that stuff we can't afford right now. So now all of a sudden my big deal is falling apart. I go last you bundle all the price. Yeah, yeah, that's right. But yeah, that's right. And he says, and I quote, boy, it would be a shame if he made some comment about getting burglarized. It would be a shame if we got burglarized. And you know, and I'm just passed right past me and about a week later, on a Monday morning I caught. I get a call the office and it's him and he says hey, you're not going to believe what happened. I said what's that? He says, we got burglarized over the weekend. All of our IBM typewriters are gone. Oh my what. And they had someone had burglarized. They did take any of the tooling, you know, anything like that. They took all... sobody came in and stole all the office scripmen. So well know. So now I'm like, AH, so now I'm up. Okay, I'm coming out. But I actually have someone traveling with me today that they were doing a big blitz day and they brought all the region people and had this woman from Chicago I had never met before. It was a region person, Nancy Allen. I still remember her name. And we go out and we meet with this guy that day and I've got the pricing built in, et CETERA, etc. And and here's the best part. So not only is this like going to be an easy sale right because they got insurance money. I don't know what's going on. All I know what they're about to buy a bunch of stuff. I got the proposal ready and he says he looks at it and I had introduced him to her and he knows she's like the be one of the big region people, and he says, I think we're ready to go. I said okay, and she looks to me she is great, let's let's write the order now. You know, back then we had order agreements. Yeah, right, right there in the spot. Yeah, I didn't have one. have an order a dream. Wait, I didn't have an order agreement. I have the sheepishly look at this guy say I don't have an order agreement and she looks at me. She you don't have an order agreement. I know, and she takes over. She looks and she says I probably shouldn't mention anyone. Well, statical limitations. At this point I said Dave. She says, Dave, can we come back in about an hour, because our office was right down the street. He says sure. He looks at me, because you're in trouble. She Says No, no, no, no. So we're going to go back and write the orders and bring them back from the sign and on the way back to the office she says, all right, we're going to make a deal right now. I said. What's that? She said, we're not going to tell anybody ever about you not having an order agreement for that call, but you're never going to go on a call again without an order agreement in hand. And finally, let's wrap up with Comante mccrae, are chief commercial officer. He had a quite a lesson in negotiation and translation. Years Ago I was a senior seller, I was a specialist. So that may...

...not support supported other sellers. And we had a call on Middle Eastern Embassy. We had been negotiating with them for some time. This particular day was for us. We had the contracts in hand to ink the deal. So we get there and the normal guy that we deal with. We having a conversation and then, in left field he pulls out, well, we're looking for an additional price discount, and so we're saying, well, this is not what we discussed. We've already talked about everything. The solution is baked. We talked about the budgets, we talked about the price. This is supposed to be for us just thinking the deal. So he says, well, I've got to bring in someone else to talk about this negotiation. So he brings in this other party and this other party he's having to translate for because this other party doesn't speak English. So we're going through the back and forth in the party that doesn't speak English in his native tongue is very animated. He's banging on the table, he's all over the place and obviously I can see that this guy is somewhat angered. And so we go back and forth through the discussion and the more junior seller, I can see he's a little shook because this guy is really animating. He's very angry, and so the person that we traditionally deal with that could speak English, he gets up and walks out of the room and so it's just the seller, the junish seller, myself in this guy. So the juniors sellers like, what in the world is going on? Come on ten I'm was like just just be quiet. Well, it'll be okay, it'll be okay. So when the other guy comes back in, I said and he says, look, you need to go back to your office and talk to someone that really can make this deal happen and reduce our price, and I say, well, I'm not going back to the office and have that conversation. We've already discussed that this is the right solution, this is the right price, this is the best that you're going to get, and I'm not we're going to do this deal today. What is it that's going to take us to happen so that...

...we can make this deal happen today, and what is the real issue that we're trying to solve? For? He says we're our budget changed, and he's translating back and forth and every time I say something, says up to this guy and this guy goes all over the place. And I said, well, okay, so you're butt change. Do we need to change the solution? Know, we want the same solution or lesser costs. And I said, well, what is the issue with the budget? He says, well, our first year budget we have. We have a problem. So I knew in the back pocket we can negotiate more on things like a warranty, because they'd have to pay for things like maintenance over the time and if we gave them a bit of a Warty, they would have to pay. This a value to it. So I say to him, what if we can give you the first year free maintenance? Right, so that has a value of xts, and he talks to this guy and this guy goes off a bit more and so he says that might work. So I said, well, I need to make a phone call. So I walk out, I go call and I knew I had a little bit of that in the back pocket. I call our finance people. They see I cannot tell you know, that's a big deal. So I go back in. I say done, let's do the deal. So they had to reprint some contracts. The guy that supposedly the guy that could speak English walks out and the guy that didn't speak English all of a sudden says, Hey, I appreciate the business. Hey Me, you're gonna say that. I appreciate you going the extra mile. and Johnny just coming out of Rama Don so they were having a big celebration in the office. Let's celebrate the contract. I know you've worked with this gentleman extensively, with us, and I said you could speak in the we bust out laughing the in the Junia seller. So you can speak English all the time. Said Yeah, this is just sort of a negotiation tactic to see how you would react, to see who you get more out of you and to see if you but hey, you handle it fantastically. Let's go eat because they had been fast. Awesome. That is awesome.

All right. I hope you enjoyed that podcast. Little different take for you today on the audible ready sales podcast. What is your funniest story? Would love to hear them. Shoot us a note on Linkedin. You can find myself on Linkedin, Rachel Clap Miller or John Kaplan. We love to hear them. Thank you for listening. At force management, we're focused on transforming sales organizations into elite teams. Are Proven methodologies deliver programs that build company alignment and fuel repeatable revenue growth. Give your teams the ability to execute the growth strategy at the point of sale. Our strength is our experience. The proof is in our results. Let's get started. Visit US at force MANAGEMENTCOM. You've been listening to the audible ready podcast. To not miss an episode, subscribe to the show in your favorite podcast player. Until next time,.

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